[Ken wasn’t sure what was going on but he knew he had to be prepared. He just couldn’t allow himself to be tricked by whatever was going on in this world.
And yet, as he looked at another image of himself, all he could do was stare. There he was, in the mirror, a boy who had cried his eyes out. A boy with messed up hair. A boy with blood all over his clothing.
[ Naruto had been lucky enough to not get trapped by this mirror magic himself yet. He frowns when he saw Ken just staring and then saying something like that? He frowns and moves over to him. He might not know anything about him but still... He reaches out to shake his shoulder. ]
Hey dude. You should probably stop looking at that.
[That was easier said than done. Upon hearing someone, all Ken could do was stare at the blond before staring back at his mirror self. At first, he was surprised to see that there was someone else who could also see him but...]
But it's true, though. I...I did do something terrible.
[That was the problem, it was horrible. It was something that Ken could never forgive himself for. As much as he wanted to avoid talking about it, he couldn't. However...]
It was from my mother...
[It wasn't a complete lie but he wasn't telling the truth either.]
You are invited to Sip & Blossom's soft launch party!
Okumura Haru is celebrating the launch of her brand new cafe, located in Stellari. There will be coffee, tea, fresh food, as well as a performance, so please come join her and others for this special evening event!
The launch party will be held July 25th at 6:00PM.
Please feel free to bring a plus one!
Thank you, and Haru greatly appreciates your support.
oct 4th; blanket cws for death, grief, ptsd, suicidal ideation throughout
[It's not that he goes seeking the kid out on the anniversary, or anything like that. His intention had been to give him as wide a berth as possible while still being available to call upon if needed, not just on this day but overall during the course of their time here.
The best laid plans of mice and men.
He runs into him by chance out on the streets of Stellari late in the evening, not far from his apartment. Perhaps Amada had come by to visit Koromaru, or Aki, or Okumura. He doesn't know. But it's strange, after all this time, to be face to face with this boy on this night again. This time, there's no intent behind it, of course; their meeting is truly a coincidence, yet there feels something fateful about it. Maybe this night will always feel that way.
There's things they ought to talk about, should've talked about months ago, maybe, but if he would find the courage any night, perhaps it is only fitting for it to be this one.]
Hey, kid. Join me on the rooftop if you got some time?
[He gestures, roughly, in the direction of the apartments.]
[Ken knew better than to go out wandering at night here. But he couldn't stay in one spot. Not on this day anyway. He just had to get out of the house and just find a place where he could think about everything.
After everything that has happened, he still wasn't sure how to process it all. Shinjiro's death, his mother's death, knowing that they were going to have to fight death back home. He didn't know what to do. All he knows is that he had to keep moving forward since that's the only thing he knows to do.
But he couldn't keep that thought for long as he heard a familiar voice nearby. Looking at Shinjiro and then back at the ground, he kept silent for a bit.]
....Yeah, we can do that. I wouldn't mind looking out at the view.
[The lack of resistance shouldn't keep surprising him, honestly. Amada's made it clear enough that he doesn't hate him, that he wants to know him in some capacity, which is something Shinjiro's had to quietly grapple with over the last seven months.
But that's also why he can't keep running away from this. The kid agrees to join him, and something tightens in his gut, but there's a sense of relief in it, almost. Like lancing a wound and preparing to finally drain and clean it after too long left to fester.
He settles down on the roof with the kid, after a short walk in silence. The kid's right; the Stellari skyline is nice, especially at night. The breeze is cool and pleasant, too, the chill of autumn creeping in without the sheer bite of winter.
After a long moment he speaks -- not quite able to broach the question he wants directly just yet, but a conversation needs to start somewhere.]
Hard to believe it's been almost three years, now.
[That's nearly a third of the kid's life...the weight of that still gnaws at him.]
[Ken wasn't going to argue as he couldn't hide from Shinjiro forever. As much as he wanted to avoid him, he couldn't. Especially when he knew bits and pieces about the future now. Knowing that they had to fight against death, he just had to keep moving forward even if it kills him.
He didn't say a word. He simply followed his senpai to sit on the rooftop. Looking down at the sky before them, he smiled a little to himself. It certainly was a nice night to be looking out at the stars.]
...Yes, it has.
[He spoke with some uncertainty.]
Time flies a lot faster when you're not aware of it.
[Not aware of it huh ... if only. Shinjiro's acutely aware of the passing of time, especially since his death. Every day here is a day longer than he was supposed to have, and for so many months all he could think about was when they would finally stop coming. When he could fix what he broke and disappear at long last.
He's no longer so sure that's the right path, but in a way, it only makes him more aware of the days that pass. Amada might spend a significant amount of his formative years here, if things continue as they have. Maybe he'll even come to see it as a home. He doesn't ... know what the kid wants, not really. He's been stuck on this mental image of fixing things for so long, and he never even really questioned it until the day Aki's wish put the wrong Persona in his head and he had to take back Castor just to keep his oldest friend from ending up like him.
Aki was wrong about what he needed, but he'd wanted Shinjiro to be okay. And for all the thought burns in his gut when it comes to himself -- that's all he wants for the kid, too. He grips at the roof shingles until his hands ache from the pressure, before he forces himself to keep talking, to not run away.]
Yeah? Has it...gotten easier? To not be aware of it, I mean. Or at least not all the time.
[He can't say that he hasn't forgotten about it, the pain has dulled a bit. All he wants is some closure between himself, his mother, and the person next to him. He knew a part of him might not forgive Shinjiro for what he did but he also knew that holding all that anger inside wasn't going to solve anything. Especially now when he knew that he had to fight death going back home.
He couldn't allow himself to think such things. Holding to that anger would probably make it easier for death to kill him. Thinking about it now, he was just terrified of what the future might be for all of them.]
...I am aware of it but it doesn't hurt as much as it once did.
[It's the first thing that comes to mind to say. It's good that he's doing better, that he's found himself having an easier time living.
But he didn't ask the kid up to the roof to be satisfied just at that, so...he takes a deep breath, letting his eyes close for just a moment and willing the crisp night air to settle his nerves somewhat.]
...I gotta ask you about something. Give me an honest answer, alright? Don't worry about how I'll feel about it.
[He doesn't wait for Amada to respond, though, because he has to get the words out before he loses the will to speak them at all.]
Listen, the wish I made when I came here -- I wanted to undo that whole night. Like it never happened in the first place. I thought it was the least I owed you, if I was gonna keep living. ...But I realize, I never asked if that's something you'd actually want.
[Laserhawk felt it wouldn't be worth it, to strip away the pain that made him who he is. Maybe Amada feels the same, and he's been selfish all this time, even as he thought he was doing the right thing.]
[Somehow, he wasn't surprised to hear that was his wish. He would do anything to change the outcome if he could. In return, Ken shook his head.]
...As much as I miss her, I'm not sure if that is what I want. I wouldn't have been able to meet Arisato-san and the others. And that includes you too.
[For better and for worst. With so much that happened in the months he has been here, he definitely learned a lot. He knew that running away from his pain was not going to make things better. He also knew that nothing would change if he didn't do something. With that, he closed his eyes before giving a sigh.]
But if you're going to tell me the truth, I think I should be honest too. That night, when you died, I was planning on killing myself. Even if my plans didn't turn out the way I wanted to, I didn't see a point in living.
[And thinking about it now, it still hurt. However, he knew it was a feeling that would never go away.]
That's why my wish was to trade places with you. That way, I would be the one to die and save you instead.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
whatsamada) wrote2025-03-08 05:24 am
April 2025 intense event
And yet, as he looked at another image of himself, all he could do was stare. There he was, in the mirror, a boy who had cried his eyes out. A boy with messed up hair. A boy with blood all over his clothing.
All he could say was this:]
Remember what you did…
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Hey dude. You should probably stop looking at that.
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But it's true, though. I...I did do something terrible.
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It couldn't be too horrible, right?
[ Naruto says, frowning. This definitely doesn't feel right after all. ]
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It was from my mother...
[It wasn't a complete lie but he wasn't telling the truth either.]
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[ Naruto doesn't know what to say for sure but he'll do his best to help. ]
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[He said with a pause or two.]
...And she's not supposed to be alive.
text | un: garden05 | a day or so after fighting akihiko
Please let me know if you are well.
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I managed to get into a battle again though...
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Do you know if Akihiko-kun is doing okay?
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....And I'm assuming that he will be.
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Are you injured? When I had arrived, he was already attacking you.
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From being attacked from other creatures?
...A little bit.
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Do you have healing skills?
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Speaking of which, are you okay? Do you need me to heal you?
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I also need to ask you a favour, Amada-san.
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( invitation - no response needed )
You are invited to Sip & Blossom's soft launch party!
Okumura Haru is celebrating the launch of her brand new cafe, located in Stellari. There will be coffee, tea, fresh food, as well as a performance, so please come join her and others for this special evening event!
The launch party will be held July 25th at 6:00PM.
Please feel free to bring a plus one!
Thank you, and Haru greatly appreciates your support.
oct 4th; blanket cws for death, grief, ptsd, suicidal ideation throughout
The best laid plans of mice and men.
He runs into him by chance out on the streets of Stellari late in the evening, not far from his apartment. Perhaps Amada had come by to visit Koromaru, or Aki, or Okumura. He doesn't know. But it's strange, after all this time, to be face to face with this boy on this night again. This time, there's no intent behind it, of course; their meeting is truly a coincidence, yet there feels something fateful about it. Maybe this night will always feel that way.
There's things they ought to talk about, should've talked about months ago, maybe, but if he would find the courage any night, perhaps it is only fitting for it to be this one.]
Hey, kid. Join me on the rooftop if you got some time?
[He gestures, roughly, in the direction of the apartments.]
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After everything that has happened, he still wasn't sure how to process it all. Shinjiro's death, his mother's death, knowing that they were going to have to fight death back home. He didn't know what to do. All he knows is that he had to keep moving forward since that's the only thing he knows to do.
But he couldn't keep that thought for long as he heard a familiar voice nearby. Looking at Shinjiro and then back at the ground, he kept silent for a bit.]
....Yeah, we can do that. I wouldn't mind looking out at the view.
on god i am slowly gathering my shit
But that's also why he can't keep running away from this. The kid agrees to join him, and something tightens in his gut, but there's a sense of relief in it, almost. Like lancing a wound and preparing to finally drain and clean it after too long left to fester.
He settles down on the roof with the kid, after a short walk in silence. The kid's right; the Stellari skyline is nice, especially at night. The breeze is cool and pleasant, too, the chill of autumn creeping in without the sheer bite of winter.
After a long moment he speaks -- not quite able to broach the question he wants directly just yet, but a conversation needs to start somewhere.]
Hard to believe it's been almost three years, now.
[That's nearly a third of the kid's life...the weight of that still gnaws at him.]
You can do it!!
He didn't say a word. He simply followed his senpai to sit on the rooftop. Looking down at the sky before them, he smiled a little to himself. It certainly was a nice night to be looking out at the stars.]
...Yes, it has.
[He spoke with some uncertainty.]
Time flies a lot faster when you're not aware of it.
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He's no longer so sure that's the right path, but in a way, it only makes him more aware of the days that pass. Amada might spend a significant amount of his formative years here, if things continue as they have. Maybe he'll even come to see it as a home. He doesn't ... know what the kid wants, not really. He's been stuck on this mental image of fixing things for so long, and he never even really questioned it until the day Aki's wish put the wrong Persona in his head and he had to take back Castor just to keep his oldest friend from ending up like him.
Aki was wrong about what he needed, but he'd wanted Shinjiro to be okay. And for all the thought burns in his gut when it comes to himself -- that's all he wants for the kid, too. He grips at the roof shingles until his hands ache from the pressure, before he forces himself to keep talking, to not run away.]
Yeah? Has it...gotten easier? To not be aware of it, I mean. Or at least not all the time.
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[He can't say that he hasn't forgotten about it, the pain has dulled a bit. All he wants is some closure between himself, his mother, and the person next to him. He knew a part of him might not forgive Shinjiro for what he did but he also knew that holding all that anger inside wasn't going to solve anything. Especially now when he knew that he had to fight death going back home.
He couldn't allow himself to think such things. Holding to that anger would probably make it easier for death to kill him. Thinking about it now, he was just terrified of what the future might be for all of them.]
...I am aware of it but it doesn't hurt as much as it once did.
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[It's the first thing that comes to mind to say. It's good that he's doing better, that he's found himself having an easier time living.
But he didn't ask the kid up to the roof to be satisfied just at that, so...he takes a deep breath, letting his eyes close for just a moment and willing the crisp night air to settle his nerves somewhat.]
...I gotta ask you about something. Give me an honest answer, alright? Don't worry about how I'll feel about it.
[He doesn't wait for Amada to respond, though, because he has to get the words out before he loses the will to speak them at all.]
Listen, the wish I made when I came here -- I wanted to undo that whole night. Like it never happened in the first place. I thought it was the least I owed you, if I was gonna keep living. ...But I realize, I never asked if that's something you'd actually want.
[Laserhawk felt it wouldn't be worth it, to strip away the pain that made him who he is. Maybe Amada feels the same, and he's been selfish all this time, even as he thought he was doing the right thing.]
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...As much as I miss her, I'm not sure if that is what I want. I wouldn't have been able to meet Arisato-san and the others. And that includes you too.
[For better and for worst. With so much that happened in the months he has been here, he definitely learned a lot. He knew that running away from his pain was not going to make things better. He also knew that nothing would change if he didn't do something. With that, he closed his eyes before giving a sigh.]
But if you're going to tell me the truth, I think I should be honest too. That night, when you died, I was planning on killing myself. Even if my plans didn't turn out the way I wanted to, I didn't see a point in living.
[And thinking about it now, it still hurt. However, he knew it was a feeling that would never go away.]
That's why my wish was to trade places with you. That way, I would be the one to die and save you instead.
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I AM LATE WITH STARBUCKS
bring those bearista cups we'll have a party
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